Money Financial Avoidance: Why Americans stay silent about money
Conversations about money can feel awkward or even intimidating, no matter how secure or precarious your financial situation. For some, it’s the fear of being judged; for others, it’s the worry of exposing vulnerabilities or admitting they don’t have all the answers. Even those who are financially stable can find the subject uncomfortable, as money remains an uncomfortable subject. [1] US Bank, “Challenging Conversations About Money,” 2024 https://www.usbank.com/financialiq/manage-your-household/tackle-debt/challenging-conversations-about-money.html
A new survey on behalf of Self Financial asked 1,002 U.S. adults about how they feel when discussing their finances with those around them and whether stress ever leads them to shy away from dealing with money matters altogether.
Key Findings:
- On average, using a scale of zero to five, people felt most comfortable talking about money with their spouse (3.5/5), parents (3.4/5) and friends (3.4/5), and least comfortable with coworkers and children (3.1/5 each).
- Conversations about money are least likely to happen with coworkers, with approximately one in five (20.4%) saying they never discussed money with people at work and fewer than 1% doing so daily.
- Respondents felt most judged when discussing money with parents (46.7%) and coworkers (46.9%).
- Income or salary is the hardest topic to discuss (20.4%), followed by credit card debt (19.2%) and budgeting (18.7%).
- Over half (59.5%) said they believe personal finances are strictly private and should not be shared with anyone, and 57.3% said they believe discussions about finances are taboo or impolite.
- To feel more open when discussing finances, 43.4% said they’d need more financial knowledge, and 34.4% said they’d need more money.
How comfortable are Americans when talking about money?
The survey asked participants to rate their comfort level when discussing finances with various friends and family members on a scale from one to five, with one meaning “very uncomfortable” and five meaning “very comfortable.”
On average, people felt most at ease talking about money with their spouse (3.5), parents (3.4), and friends (3.4). In contrast, they were least comfortable discussing finances with coworkers (3.1) and children (3.1).
| Average comfort score when discussing finances | |||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Husband/ wife | Girlfriend/ boyfriend | Parents | Siblings | Friends | Coworkers | Children | |
| Average | 3.5 | 3.2 | 3.4 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.1 | 3.1 |
Men and women reported a similar level of ease when discussing finances with their spouse (3.6/5 for women versus 3.5/5 for men). The research also showed men felt slightly more comfortable talking about money with their parents than women (4.0/5 versus 3.8/5).
Participants discuss their finances more with their spouse than anyone else
When it comes to talking about finances, in the past year, spouses have been the clear confidants when it comes to money. Nearly four in ten people (38.9%) discussed their finances with a husband or wife at least weekly, more than with anyone else. In comparison, slightly fewer people reported talking about money with a boyfriend or girlfriend at the same weekly frequency (34.3%).
According to data from the U.S. Census Bureau 2023 survey, almost a quarter (23%) of married couples did not have any joint bank accounts in 2023, [2] Census, “Couples’ Finances: Married but Separate,” 2025 https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2025/02/couples-finances-married-but-separate.html potentially explaining why 13.3% of participants reported only discussing their finances with their spouse a few times a year, or 13.8% who said they never have these conversations.
Parents, siblings and friends sat in the middle, with around 35.4% to 29.9% of people speaking to them at least once a week, but roughly one in six (between 14.2% and 15.7%) never mentioned finances to them at all.
Participants were least likely to discuss finances with their coworkers, with 20.4% saying they never talk about money.
Coworkers were firmly off limits, with more than one in five (20.4%) saying they never discussed money with colleagues and fewer than 1% doing so daily, compared with 6.4% who have daily financial conversations with their spouses. Altogether, the picture from the last year shows that financial conversations are most common several times a week and about once a week with spouses, partners and parents, and are less common in the workplace.
Although under the National Labor Relations Act, employees in the U.S. have the right to discuss their wages with their coworkers if they want to. However, a different survey showed that 43% of Americans are uncomfortable discussing their salary with their coworkers. [3] Upgraded Points, “How Private Are Americans About Their Money? [2024 Survey],” 2024 https://upgradedpoints.com/finance/how-private-are-americans-about-money/
| On average, how often do Americans discuss their finances with friends and family a year? | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Husband/ wife | Girlfriend/ boyfriend | Parents | Siblings | Friends | Coworkers | |
| Daily | 6.4% | 1.7% | 3.5% | 1.7% | 1.9% | 0.7% |
| Several times a week | 17.5% | 16.7% | 16.1% | 14.1% | 13.9% | 14.9% |
| About once a week | 15.1% | 16.0% | 15.9% | 14.6% | 14.2% | 13.8% |
| A few times a month | 15.3% | 14.4% | 16.6% | 17.1% | 16.4% | 15.5% |
| About once a month | 13.7% | 16.3% | 15.3% | 15.4% | 17.4% | 14.8% |
| A few times a year | 13.3% | 13.4% | 15.9% | 19.1% | 18.6% | 17.1% |
| Never | 13.8% | 14.2% | 14.2% | 15.7% | 15.0% | 20.4% |
Nearly half (46.9%) fear judgement from coworkers when discussing money
Not only did people speak less frequently about their finances with coworkers, it appears that worries about being judged extend beyond the workplace and into personal relationships, as well.
The survey asked participants whether they ever avoid talking about money because they fear being judged by their friends or family members. The data reveals that feelings of being judged when discussing money are fairly common across all relationship groups, though they vary slightly.
Around 43-46% of respondents admitted to feeling judged by close circles such as partners, parents, siblings, friends and even colleagues, with parents (46.7%) and coworkers (46.9%) topping the list. Interestingly, spouses (43.7%) and children (41.4%) were the least likely to provoke feelings of judgement, but with roughly two in five still experiencing it, money clearly remains a sensitive topic even in close relationships.
| Percentage that feel judged when discussing money with this person | |
|---|---|
| Husband/ wife | 43.7% |
| Girlfriend/ boyfriend | 43.3% |
| Parents | 46.7% |
| Siblings | 44.7% |
| Friends | 46.6% |
| Coworkers | 46.9% |
| Children | 41.4% |
People find conversations about salary most uncomfortable to have (20.4%)
When asked which financial topics the participants find more difficult or uncomfortable to discuss, income or salary came out on top (20.4%). Following this is credit card debt (19.2%) and budgeting (18.7%).
| The financial topics participants found most uncomfortable | ||
|---|---|---|
| Rank | Financial topic* | Percentage |
| 1 | Income or salary | 20.4% |
| 2 | Credit card debt | 19.2% |
| 3 | Budgeting | 18.7% |
| 4 | Personal Loans | 17.6% |
| 5 | Retirement planning | 12.6% |
| 6 | Mortgages | 2.6% |
| 7 | Savings | 2.4% |
| 8 | Spending habits | 1.9% |
| 9 | Investing (stocks, retirement accounts, etc.) | 1.6% |
| 10 | Social benefits (like Social Security or Medicaid concerns) | 1.1% |
| 11 | Student loans | 0.8% |
| 12 | Business finances (if self-employed) | 0.6% |
| 13 | None of the above | 0.5% |
*Respondents could select more than one option.
In contrast, just 0.5% said they felt uncomfortable discussing none of the above.
This highlights just how sensitive Americans find sharing information regarding their personal finances. In fact, according to a Bankrate study in 2025, Americans would feel comfortable discussing their weight (69%), political views (76%), religious views (82%) than finances and money. [4] Bankrate, “Survey: Americans would rather discuss politics or religion than what’s in their bank accounts,” 2025 https://www.bankrate.com/banking/survey-americans-avoid-money-talk/
Why do Americans avoid conversations about money?
Money is a topic that touches nearly every aspect of daily life, yet in the U.S., discussions about personal finances often remain uncomfortable. [1] US Bank, “Challenging Conversations About Money,” 2024 https://www.usbank.com/financialiq/manage-your-household/tackle-debt/challenging-conversations-about-money.html From dinner tables to workplaces, the research shows many Americans feel uncomfortable when having conversations about earnings or debt. But what else is holding back honest financial discussions?
Fear of being judged is holding back financial conversations
When asked why they felt uncomfortable discussing finances, the most common reason given was a fear of being judged by others (22.1%). Almost as many people (22%) said money matters felt too personal or private to share, while 18.7% pointed to a lack of confidence in using the right financial terminology.
| Why does talking about finances make Americans feel uncomfortable? | |
|---|---|
| Reason | Percentage of respondents |
| Fear of being judged by other people | 22.1% |
| It feels too personal or private | 22.0% |
| Lack of confidence using correct financial terminology | 18.7% |
| Cultural or family norms | 14.5% |
| Guilt or shame | 11.9% |
| Don’t want to compare | 2.9% |
| It causes conflict | 2.8% |
| Uncertainty about finances | 2.5% |
| It feels stressful or overwhelming | 1.9% |
Alongside this, when asked whether they believed personal finances are strictly private and should not be shared with anyone, 59.5% of participants said they believed that to be the case. Similarly, 57.3% said they believe discussions about finances are taboo or impolite.
Over half (57.3%) say that talking about money is impolite.
And it appears that many people have already faced negative outcomes following discussions about finances. 59% said they had had a negative experience (such as an argument) that makes them hesitant to talk about money now.
In addition, almost three in five (57.5%) said they often feel too unsure or uninformed about financial topics (like investing or taxes) to discuss them with their friends and family. According to a 2023 Pew Research Center study, just over half of Americans (54%) say they know a great or fair amount about personal finances, while 13% say they don’t know much or nothing at all. [5] Pew Research Center, “Roughly half of Americans are knowledgeable about personal finances,” 2024 https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/14/roughly-half-of-americans-are-knowledgeable-about-personal-finances/
Does financial avoidance extend to how often you check your account balance?
The survey also asked participants about their behavior towards checking their account balances.
Participants reported checking their bank account balances on average nine times a month. Just 4.5% of participants said they only check it once a month whereas 1.9% said they check it almost daily (around 30 times a month).
| Average frequency of bank account balance checks (monthly) | Percentage of respondents |
|---|---|
| Never check their bank account balance | 0.6% |
| Daily (30+ times a month) | 1.9% |
| 2-3 times | 14% |
| 4-9 times | 40.6% |
| 10-19 times | 36.0% |
| 20-29 times | 2.4% |
| Once a month | 4.5% |
The research shows that households earning between $25,000 and $49,000 tend to keep a close eye on their finances, with nearly half (47.4%) checking their account balances on average 15 times per month, which is roughly 3-4 times a week, while another 43.7% check on average seven times per month, or roughly twice a week.
Although, those in the $50,000-$74,999 range show a similar pattern, with 43.6% checking on average seven times per month, roughly twice a week, and 41% checking on average 15 times per month, roughly 3-4 times a week.
On the other hand, higher income households in the $75,000-$99,999 bracket tend to check less often. Nearly half (45.2%) look at their account balances on average 2-3 times per month, roughly once every 10-12 days, while 26.8% check on average seven times per month, roughly twice a week.
Nearly nine in ten (88.8%) say they regularly avoid checking their bank account
In addition to measuring the frequency of checking their account balances, the study also showed the frequency respondents checked their bank accounts in general. A striking 88.8% of participants reported they regularly avoid checking their bank accounts. This behavior was especially common among those who have a household income of between $25,000 and $49,999 annually, with 41.1% of those who admitted they regularly avoid checking their bank balance, sitting within this income bracket.
The survey explored reasons behind this avoidance, revealing that the most common cause was stress and overwhelm (22.1%). Likewise, respondents reported being afraid of finding themselves in overdraft (20%) and generally not thinking about checking their account unless a problem occurs (19.8%).
| Why people avoid checking their accounts | ||
|---|---|---|
| Rank | Reason* | Percentage |
| 1 | Finding it stressful or overwhelming | 22.1% |
| 2 | Concerns about being in an overdraft | 20.0% |
| 3 | Only thinking to check when there’s a problem | 19.8% |
| 4 | Busy schedules or forgetting to check | 17.8% |
| 5 | Feeling embarrassed or guilty about spending | 14.1% |
| 6 | A preference to avoid thinking about money altogether | 2.5% |
| 7 | Fear of seeing bills/loans come out of the account | 1.5% |
| 8 | Fear of limited savings | 0.9% |
*Respondents could select more than one option.
However, when asked what makes respondents check their bank account more often, 22.3% said it was to keep a better track of their spending habits.
Likewise, participants reported that one of the main reasons they check their bank balance regularly is to make sure they have enough money for daily expenses (21.5%).
| Why people check their accounts more often | ||
|---|---|---|
| Rank | Reason* | Percentage |
| 1 | To track spending habits | 22.3% |
| 2 | To ensure enough money for daily expenses | 21.5% |
| 3 | To avoid overdraft fees or declined payments | 19.3% |
| 4 | To confirm deposits (e.g., paycheck, refunds, transfers) | 15.6% |
| 5 | To save toward financial goals | 10.7% |
| 6 | To catch fraudulent or suspicious activity | 2.9% |
| 7 | Check more when money is tight | 2.8% |
| 8 | When making a lot of purchases | 2.4% |
| 9 | Out of habit / peace of mind | 1.6% |
| 10 | Having notifications set up on my bank account | 0.7% |
*Respondents could select more than one option.
What causes Americans to monitor their bank accounts more often?
There are certain times of the year when people might feel the need to check their bank accounts more or less frequently. The survey explored how specific events, such as holidays or vacations, influence account-monitoring habits.
Over half of participants (51.3%) said they check their accounts more around payday, likely to ensure they’ve been paid correctly and have enough to cover monthly bills. Close behind, 49.9% reported checking more often when bills are due, highlighting how financial obligations shape monitoring behaviour.
| What makes people check their bank account more often? | |
|---|---|
| Reason | Percentage |
| Around payday | 51.3% |
| When bills are due | 49.9% |
| Christmas | 48.3% |
| When worried about finances | 48.2% |
| When receiving financial news (tax return, bonus, investment update) | 47.7% |
| After large purchases or shopping sprees | 46.8% |
| At the end of the month | 46.6% |
| Birthdays | 45.6% |
The impact of a financial support network
While the research has shown how uncomfortable Americans feel discussing their finances with the people around them, the survey also explored what impact this reluctance has had.
Over half (59.2%) said that avoiding these conversations has caused them to miss out on advice, deals, or other financial opportunities. It’s perhaps unsurprising, then, that almost three in five (59.5%) have sought professional help, from financial advisors to credit counselors, because they didn’t feel comfortable discussing finances with family or friends.
Among those turning to professionals, 42.1% worked with a financial advisor or planner, while 37.4% relied on a credit counselor. The rise of technology has added another option: 53.3% of participants have used Artificial Intelligence (AI) tools for financial guidance.
Over half (53.3%) said they have turned to AI for financial guidance.
Having more financial knowledge is the key to opening up about money
The survey also asked participants what might make them more open to discussing their finances. Over two-fifths (43.4%) said they would need more financial knowledge, while 34.4% said having more money would make such conversations easier.
This concern isn’t limited to lower-income groups. Of those who said they would need more money, 45.5% currently have an annual household income of between $25,000 and $49,000 and an additional 45.5% have an annual household income between $50,000 and $74,999, showing that financial confidence is a barrier across a wide range of income levels.
However, just 5.2% of those who said they’d need more money in order to feel more comfortable discussing finances have a yearly household income of $75,000 - $99,999. Instead, having similar financial circumstances to the person they are talking to was the key to more financial honesty (45.7%).
| What would make people feel more comfortable discussing finances with friends and family? | ||
|---|---|---|
| Rank | What would make people feel more comfortable discussing finances | Percentage |
| 1 | Having more financial knowledge | 43.4% |
| 2 | Having more money | 34.4% |
| 3 | A safe space to open up in without fear of judgement | 7.5% |
| 4 | Having a clear reason or purpose for the conversation | 5.8% |
| 5 | Having similar financial circumstances to the person they’re talking to | 3.5% |
*Respondents could select more than one option.
Methodology
A survey was conducted on behalf of Self Financial surveying 1,002 U.S. adults about their attitudes towards discussing finances with various members of their family, friends or coworkers. The questions delved into uncomfortableness discussing topics such as budgeting, investing, salary and savings.
The survey was conducted on 09/05/2025.
Demographics
Age:
- 18 - 26 - 10.6%
- 27 - 42 - 82.6%
- 43 - 58 - 6.1%
- 59 - 68 - 0.6%
- 69+ - 0.1%
Gender:
- Female - 53.9%
- Male - 45.8%
- Non-binary - 0.3%
Household income:
- Less than $25,000 - 1.4%
- $25,000 – $49,999 - 37.9%
- $50,000 – $74,999 - 37.5%
- $75,000 – $99,999 - 15.7%
- $100,000 – $149,999 - 4.2%
- $150,000 – $199,999 - 1.5%
- $200,000 – $249,999 - 1.1%
- $250,000 or more - 0.6%
- Don’t know - 0.1%
Sources
- [1] US Bank, “Challenging Conversations About Money,” 2024 https://www.usbank.com/financialiq/manage-your-household/tackle-debt/challenging-conversations-about-money.html
- [2] Census, “Couples’ Finances: Married but Separate,” 2025 https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2025/02/couples-finances-married-but-separate.html
- [3] Upgraded Points, “How Private Are Americans About Their Money? [2024 Survey],” 2024 https://upgradedpoints.com/finance/how-private-are-americans-about-money/
- [4] Bankrate, “Survey: Americans would rather discuss politics or religion than what’s in their bank accounts,” 2025 https://www.bankrate.com/banking/survey-americans-avoid-money-talk/
- [5] Pew Research Center, “Roughly half of Americans are knowledgeable about personal finances,” 2024 https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/14/roughly-half-of-americans-are-knowledgeable-about-personal-finances/
