Money How many Americans are hiding debts?
Getting into debt can be an overwhelming or isolating experience. Talking about money is often difficult, and the additional stigma around debt can make it feel even harder to have open conversations about financial hardship.
A survey on behalf of Self Financial asked 1,078 respondents how honest they are with colleagues, friends and family about how much debt they have and the consequences of lying about, downplaying, or hiding debt from loved ones. Further topics covered include respondents’ strategies for getting out of debt, and what prevents them from realizing these plans.
Key findings from the survey:
- Two in three (66.3%) of respondents with debt minimized or hid it from others: 28.1% lied, 20.8% downplayed the issue and 17.4% avoided discussing the topic entirely.
- The majority (83.4%) of respondents were currently in some form of debt, and the average amount of debt accrued was $41,956.
- Taking an average of all answers, the mean amount a respondent downplayed their debt by was $6,565.
- Feelings of shame is the most common reason people don’t feel comfortable talking about their debt (29.7%), followed by not wanting to burden others (19.6%) and fear of being judged (17.3%).
How much debt are respondents in and why?
According to the ‘Household Debt and Credit Report’ from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York (NYFRB) in Q4 2024, collective household debt is estimated at $18.04 trillion. [1] Federal Reserve Bank of New York, ‘Household debt and credit report’, Q4 2024 https://www.newyorkfed.org/microeconomics/hhdc
Out of the 1,078 respondents in the study, the majority (83.4%) were currently in some form of debt. The likelihood that a respondent was in debt varied per generation; peaking at those aged 27-42, and declining after.
| Percentage of debt by age group | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Age | 18 - 26 | 27 - 42 | 43 - 58 | 59 - 68 | 69+ |
| % of respondents | 73.8% | 86.5% | 80.7% | 70.6% | 60.0% |
Based on midpoint values from each range and $100,001 for the top range, the mean amount of debt accrued by respondents was $41,956. A third of respondents (33.9%) said their debt was over $50,000.
| Average amount of debt* | |
|---|---|
| Amount | % of respondents |
| Less than $5,000 | 7.7% |
| $5,001 - $10,000 | 19.7% |
| $10,001 - $50,000 | 38.7% |
| $50,001 - $100,000 | 21.6% |
| More than $100,001 | 12.3% |
* Of respondents in debt
How did so many respondents fall into debt? When asked to select the reasons they accrued debt, the most common response given was income-related reasons, such as the loss of a job or a reduced income (45.5%). The following reasons were loan-related (40.4%) and health-related debt (39.9%).
| Main causes of debt* | |
|---|---|
| Reason | % of respondents |
| Income-related (e.g., Loss of income or job, reduced income, unforeseen expenses) | 45.5% |
| Loan-related (e.g., Taking out loans, student loans, borrowing from family or friends) | 40.4% |
| Health-related (e.g., Medical bills, health insurance premiums, unexpected medical emergencies) | 39.9% |
| Spending-related (e.g., Impulsive spending, lifestyle inflation, unplanned major purchases) | 29.9% |
| Life events (e.g., Divorce or separation, family emergencies, natural disasters or accidents) | 17.2% |
| Other (e.g., Mismanagement of finances, poor financial planning, other) | 9.5% |
* Of respondents in debt, respondents could choose multiple answers
How many respondents are hiding debt?
Seven in ten respondents (72.6%) with debt felt that it had negative consequences on their relationships with friends or family with the most common impact being creating feelings of insecurity in relationships (44.2%). This was followed by arguments and disagreements (32%) and avoidance of certain people and situations (30.9%).
Seven in ten respondents (72.6%) with debt felt that their debt had negative consequences on their relationships with friends or family.
| How debts impact relationships with friends or family* | |
|---|---|
| Consequence | % of people in debt |
| Creates feelings of insecurity | 44.2% |
| Leads to arguments or disagreements | 32.0% |
| I avoid certain people or situations | 30.9% |
| It has no impact on my relationships | 27.4% |
| Causes stress in my relationships, | 21.2% |
* Of respondents in debt, respondents could choose multiple answers.
Considering the respondents who do have debt, only one in three said they were totally open and honest about their financial situation when talking with family and friends (33.8%). The remaining respondents either lied (28.1%), downplayed the issue (20.8%) or avoided discussing the topic entirely (17.4%).
| Talking about debt to friends and family* | |
|---|---|
| Response | % of respondents |
| I am open about it | 33.8% |
| I lie about it | 28.1% |
| I tend to downplay it | 20.8% |
| I avoid the topic entirely | 17.4% |
* Of respondents in debt
When respondents were asked more broadly whether they had hidden debt from anyone (including colleagues, friends, family and romantic partners) respondents were most likely to hide debt from their friends (53.8%), followed by family members (38.8%) and a spouse (36%).
| Who are people hiding their debt from?* | |
|---|---|
| Response | % of respondents |
| Friends | 53.8% |
| Family members | 38.8% |
| Spouse | 36.0% |
| Children | 24.7% |
| Co-workers | 20.0% |
* Of respondents in debt, respondents could choose multiple options
Of those who admitted hiding their debt, the estimated amount respondents had downplayed their debt ranged from as little as $1-$100, to more than $250,001. Based on midpoint values from each range and taking $250,001 as the highest number, the calculated mean amount a respondent downplayed their debt by was $6,565.
| The average amount of debt being downplayed* | |
|---|---|
| Amount | % of respondents |
| $1 - $100 | 13.1% |
| $101 - $250 | 11.6% |
| $251 - $500 | 11.0% |
| $501 - $1000 | 16.8% |
| $1001 - $2000 | 13.7% |
| $2001 - $5000 | 10.6% |
| $5001 - $10,000 | 9.4% |
| $10,001 - $20,000 | 6.6% |
| $20,001 - $50,000 | 4.2% |
| $50,001 - $100,000 | 2.7% |
| $100,001 - $250,000 | 0.1% |
| $250,001+ | 0.1% |
* Of respondents who had lied or hidden their debt
Three in four respondents (76.4%) said they had borrowed money from family members or friends – of those that had borrowed money, the mean average amount was $1,744.
| The average amount borrowed from loved ones* | |
|---|---|
| Amount | % of respondents |
| Less than $50 | 7.4% |
| $50 - $100 | 17.3% |
| $101 - $500 | 21.7% |
| $501 - $1,000 | 23.1% |
| $1,001 - $5,000 | 21.3% |
| $5,001 - $10,000 | 7.1% |
| More than $10,000 | 2.2% |
* Of respondents who had borrowed money from someone close to them
Consequences of hiding debt
The motivations for hiding debt from loved ones are varied. When asked for the main motivation behind hiding debt from loved ones, the most common reason was feeling ashamed (29.7%) followed by not wanting to burden others (19.6%), and fear of being judged (17.3%). Looking at the demographic splits, men were more likely to worry about public scrutiny (36.4%) than women (28.3%).
| The main reasons people don’t feel comfortable speaking about debt with others* | |
|---|---|
| Reason | % of respondents |
| Feeling ashamed | 29.7% |
| Not wanting to burden others | 19.6% |
| Fear of being judged | 17.3% |
| Not knowing how to talk about it | 11.9% |
| Concern about losing relationships or respect | 10.3% |
| I don’t want to seem irresponsible | 7.7% |
| Other | 3.5% |
* Of respondents who didn't feel comfortable discussing their debt with others.
The most common reasons respondents hid debt were feeling ashamed (29.7%), followed by not wanting to burden others (19.6%), and fear of being judged (17.3%).
Following on from this, the survey asked respondents who do hide debt to isolate the strongest emotion they feel in relation to their situation. The strongest emotions people felt when hiding their debt were embarrassment (30.9%), anxiety (22.4%), and fear (20.1%). Pinpointing the biggest impact on their mental health, 22.1% reported feeling depressed, 19.6% reported constant worry or stress, and 16.7% reported difficulty sleeping.
Despite falling into debt being a common experience, the majority of respondents (61.8%) in debt said they felt isolated because of their financial struggles. Men were more likely (66.3%) than women (59.2%) to feel this way.
| The mental health impact of hiding debt * | |
|---|---|
| Effect | % of respondents |
| Feeling embarrassed | 30.9% |
| Feeling depressed | 22.1% |
| Constant worry or stress | 19.6% |
| Difficulty sleeping | 16.7% |
| Increased anxiety | 18.8% |
| Feeling overwhelmed | 8.2% |
| Low self-esteem | 6.9% |
| No impact on my mental health | 4.8% |
| Makes my mental health issues worse | 2.9% |
* Of respondents in debt, respondents could choose multiple answers.
Hiding debt in romantic relationships
A previous survey on behalf of Self Financial on the intersection between love and money, found that 41.4% of respondents said that financial issues had factored into a past breakup. Hiding debt from a partner or being untruthful about your financial situation can jeopardise a relationship. In the survey concerning hidden debt, one in three (33.2%) said their biggest concern about hiding their debt from others is losing trust in relationships. Despite the risks, one in three respondents (36%) said that they had hidden debt from their spouse.
One in three respondents (36%) said that they had hidden debt from their spouse.
Two in five (41%) of respondents said that if their partner caught them hiding debt, their partner would end the relationship – and 16.8% were unsure of what the consequences would be. Only 42.2% were sure it wouldn’t cause their relationship to end. And suspicions around money in relationships were common. A slim majority of respondents said they had been suspicious that a partner had been untruthful with them about their debt. 60.3% of respondents thought that a partner had hidden debt from them and 63.3% believed that a partner had hidden a purchase from them because they were embarrassed by how much it cost.
| How often couples talk about money | |
|---|---|
| Response | % of respondents |
| Few times a week | 30.8% |
| Once a week | 24.0% |
| Once every two weeks | 14.6% |
| Once a month | 11.6% |
| Less than once a month | 10.3% |
| Every day | 8.6% |
Getting out of debt
It’s natural to feel overwhelmed by debt, but there are steps you can take to improve your finances. Of the respondents who do have some kind of debt, 85.6% did have a plan or strategy to get out of it. However, just under half (45.7%) of these respondents admitted to struggling to follow through on their plans. The age group who were able to act on their debt strategy most confidently were those aged 59 and above (80%), and the age group most likely to struggle to realize their debt strategies were respondents aged 27-42 (53.5%).
| Plans and strategies to get out of debt* | |
|---|---|
| Response | % of respondents |
| I have a plan, but I’m struggling to follow through | 45.7% |
| I have a clear plan and I’m actively working on it | 39.9% |
| I don’t have a plan I’m thinking about creating one | 9.2% |
| I don’t have a plan and don’t know where to start | 5.1% |
* Of respondents in debt
There were many reasons why respondents had difficulty realizing these financial strategies. When asked what their biggest challenge was in paying off debts, the most popular answers were the high cost of living (35.2%), followed by insufficient income or job opportunities (25.8%), and unexpected expenses (23.1%).
| The biggest challenge preventing respondents from getting out of debt* | |
|---|---|
| Obstacle | % of respondents |
| High cost of living (e.g., rent, utilities, groceries) | 35.2% |
| Insufficient income or job opportunities | 25.8% |
| Unexpected expenses (e.g., medical bills, car repairs) | 23.1% |
| High interest rates or penalties on existing debt | 11.3% |
| Lack of financial knowledge or support | 3.0% |
| Emotional stress or anxiety about debt | 1.7% |
* Of respondents in debt
Methodology
A survey on behalf of Self Financial was conducted in March 2025 and asked a random selection of 1,078 adults questions via Amazon’s survey platform about hiding debts.
These questions covered a variety of topics, including the volume and types of debt respondents were in and how many respondents are dishonest about the amount of debt they’re in and who they are dishonest with. The survey further delved into the motivations behind lying about debt, and the consequences of lying about debt on people’s mental health.
The survey results represent the views of respondents and may not be representative of the entire U.S. population. A majority of respondents (69.3%) were aged 27-42, so the results were skewed to this demographic which may impact findings. The demographics of the respondents were:
Gender
- Female 55.5%
- Male 42.9%
- Non-binary 1%
- Not listed 0.2%
- Prefer not to say 0.5%
Age
- 18-26 7.8%
- 27-42 69.3%
- 43-58 16.8%
- 59-68 4.7%
- 69+ 1.4%
Sources
- [1] Federal Reserve Bank of New York, ‘Household debt and credit report’, Q4 2024 https://www.newyorkfed.org/microeconomics/hhdc
