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The Dating Wealth Gap

Data & Guides Money The Dating Wealth Gap

In 2024, there were around 60.5 million people using online dating services in the U.S. [1] Statista, “Online dating in the United States - statistics & facts” https://www.statista.com/topics/2158/online-dating/ Alongside this, in June 2025, a survey conducted on behalf of Self Financial revealed that 97.8% of the 1,007 respondents have dated someone they met online, highlighting the popularity of this method for meeting new people. In fact, for those who met that special someone online, Tinder (48.4%) or Bumble (45.3%) proved to be the most popular apps among respondents.

The survey explored Americans’ dating preferences and how finances shape romantic pursuits. From the age-old debate over who should pay for dates, to whether we’ve ever hidden aspects of our lifestyle when a partner couldn’t afford it.

Key findings from the study:

How important is money when it comes to dating?

According to respondents who are currently either dating, in a relationship or married, 58.2% said their partner’s income level is higher than their own, while 37.9% said it’s lower. This means that just 3.8% said they earn the same amount as their partner.

Over half (55.4%) would be happy to date someone who earns significantly less than them

However, it appears that higher earnings don’t necessarily translate into greater dating potential. When asked whether they would date someone who earns significantly more, over half (53.4%) of participants said they would find no problem in doing this. Whereas, when asked how they would feel about dating someone who earns significantly less, 55.4% said they would still pursue a romantic relationship with that person.

However, the survey reveals a slight gender divide on this issue. Among men, 51.8% said they would be happy to date someone earning significantly more than them, compared with 55.2% of women. Similarly, 53.7% of men said they would date someone earning significantly less, versus 57.3% of women.

Would you date someone who earns significantly more than you?
Gender Yes No
Female 55.2% 44.8%
Male 51.8% 48.2%
Would you date someone who earns significantly less than you?
Gender Yes No
Female 57.3% 42.7%
Male 53.7% 46.3%

In spite of that, when asked how important general financial compatibility was in romantic relationships half (50.3%) said it was very important and this was echoed by 47.9% who agreed it was somewhat important. Just one in 100 (1.3%) said this wasn’t important to them at all.

Financial compatibility isn’t just about earning the same as your partner; it also includes how you align in spending, budgeting, saving, and investing. [2] Verywell Mind, “Financial Compatibility Is an Understated Relationship Green Flag” https://www.verywellmind.com/how-important-is-financial-compatibility-in-a-relationship-8697803 It also doesn’t require equal income levels, as someone might be comfortable or even prefer being with a partner who earns more or less than they do.

Women (59%) are more likely to experience financial incompatibility than men (50.1%)

When asked whether they’ve ever felt financially incompatible with a partner, a staggering 54.3% said they had. This was more apparent for women (59%), than men (50.1%).

Controversially, over half (53%) said they think dating apps should come with an income range filter. In June 2025, Tinder revealed a new “height preference” feature, which allowed paying users to filter matches based on their height. [3] New York Post, “Tinder tests out new height filter ‘to help people connect more intentionally’” https://nypost.com/2025/06/02/lifestyle/tinder-tries-new-height-filter-to-connect-more-intentionally/ This decision was met with widespread debate about dating biases.

Over half (53%) think dating apps should come with an income range filter.

How Americans handle the costs in their relationships

As part of the research, the survey explored how Americans are handling the costs in their relationships. A previous study in 2024 on behalf of Self Financial found the average date costs $58.84. Moreso, almost two-thirds of people (64.6%) surveyed as part of the 2024 research believe that spending more will lead to a more successful relationship.

Men were more likely than women to say they usually pay for dates

With this in mind, respondents were asked how the costs of dates were typically handled in their current or most recent relationships. The research shows that costs are split fairly evenly, with 48.8% saying they usually pay, and 47% of people saying their date was usually responsible. Just 1.9% said they alternate and 2.2% said they split everything evenly.

Just 2.2% said they have split the costs of dates evenly with a current or previous partner.

Interestingly, dating coaches believe men should pay for the first date [4] CNBC, “Who should pay for the first date? Dating coaches and a couples therapist weigh in” https://www.cnbc.com/2024/04/16/who-should-pay-for-the-first-date-experts-weigh-in.html. This research shows that this might not always be the case. When looking at the breakdown of which gender say they usually pay for dates, 45.6% of women said it was their responsibility compared to 54.4% of men.

When asked how often they had paid more than their fair share in a relationship, almost half (48.1%) said this was always the case, while a further 46.8% said they often felt that way.

The price of financial compatibility

How has financial incompatibility affected relationships in America? Just over half (51.8%), felt like they had to downplay their lifestyle, such as clothes, travel and hobbies, around a current or previous partner due to their financial differences.

How financial incompatibility affects couples spending time together
Yes No
Chosen not to travel 50.5% 49.5%
Stopped inviting their partner to events 51.8% 48.2%
Paid for trips, meals or events when their partner couldn't afford 54.6% 45.4%

This sentiment was reflected in the 50.5% who said they had opted not to travel because their partner at the time couldn’t afford it, and the 50.3% who frequently avoided restaurants, bars, or events for the same reason.

In addition to this, 51.8% said at some point they had stopped inviting their partner to events because they couldn’t afford to go.

Likewise, 50.8% of the respondents said lifestyle differences (such as one person wanting to travel or dine out more) have caused tension in their current or previous relationship.

Over half (51.8%) said they’ve stopped inviting their partner to events because they couldn’t afford to go.

Over half (51.7%) said they feel like they’ve missed out on life experiences due to their partner's financial situation at the time. Likewise, 49.9% said their current or previous partner has even made them feel guilty for spending money on things they couldn’t afford and 55.6% said their partner's financial insecurity has made them feel like they are “too much”.

Some even reported ending a relationship due to differing financial values or spending habits (50.6%).

Half (50.2%) would be willing to limit their lifestyle for the sake of their relationship

But it appears that for some, the enjoyment of making memories with their partner is more important than keeping score on costs. 54.5% said they have paid for trips, meals or even events because their significant other couldn’t afford to split the cost at the time. Likewise, 50.2% said they would be willing to limit their lifestyle long-term to stay with someone who earns significantly less than they do.

Half (50.2%) would be willing to limit their lifestyle long-term for a partner who earns less than they do.

The study also asked respondents about coping strategies when facing financial difficulties in a relationship. For those who admitted they have at some point felt financially incompatible, whether in current or past relationships, the top strategy to alleviating stress around money was splitting everything 50/50 regardless of income (77.5%).

This was followed by setting separate budgets for individual vs shared expenses (77.1%), and delegating financial responsibility to the higher earners who would pay proportionally more (76.6%).

Coping strategies when facing financial differences in a relationship
Rank Strategy Percentage of respondents
1 Split everything 50/50 regardless of income 77.5%
2 Set separate budgets for individual vs. shared expenses 77.1%
3 The higher earner pays proportionally more 76.6%
4 Take turns paying for different types of expenses 74.8%
5 Avoid expensive activities altogether 74.6%

*Respondents could select multiple answers.

Is financial incompatibility a deal breaker for Americans?

While just 1.3% said financial compatibility wasn’t at all important to them, 52.9% said that in their experience, relationships with similar income levels lasted longer than those with income disparity.

Over half (52.9%) say relationships with similar income levels lasted longer in their experiences.

When asked whether they believed the wealth gap is making dating harder today for previous generations, 52.2% said they believed this to be true.

For relationships with long term potential, 52.5% said financial disagreements have even gone so far as to delay or prevent major milestones such as moving in together, marriage and starting a family.

And when it comes to introducing our significant other to our loved ones, 50.7% said they’ve never felt uncomfortable introducing their partner to friends or family because of financial differences. On the other hand, 49.3% said they had.

Likewise, when asked whether friends or family had ever commented negatively on their partner’s financial situation, 53.6% of respondents said they had.

53.6% said friends or family had negatively commented on their partner's financial situation.

Finally, 51.2% of respondents said that financial mismatches in their romantic relationship had created tension between their friendships or family, showing how money issues often have a ripple effect beyond the couple themselves.

Methodology

The survey conducted on behalf of Self Financial asked a total of 1,007 U.S. adults from a range of backgrounds questions about their experiences managing finances in a romantic relationship.

For some questions, respondents were able to select multiple answers, so the results do not all add up to 100%.

The data was collected from 6/25/2025 to 7/17/2025.

Demographics:

Age

Gender

Sources

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